Me & Dr. Jones

They never did tell us where Dr. Jones was the entire time.
I was excited to be starting my college career. Both of my parents had gone to the prestigious Barnett College. When I got the acceptance letter, I started dancing with the family dog until my dad called me a homo. Then, he grilled me about what I would choose as my major. He wanted me to go into business and mom wanted me to be a doctor. Either way I was going to let one of them down. Luckily, I let both of them down so they could loathe my career choice together. I chose to go into Archaeology. Dad didn't quite understand what it was considering he pumped gas his whole life. He thought it had to do with finding dinosaur bones which would be blasphemy considering God only put those on Earth to test our faith.

I wanted to do more than find dinosaur bones. I wanted to uncover lost civilizations and use that knowledge to improve human kind. I had no interest in these "intro" courses. Why should I waste time learning all that jargon when I could head out there and pull the skeleton of a long dead Incan out of the ground?

I signed up for Lost Tribes and Sunken Continents my very first semester. It was a lucky thing that I got in there. It was taught by this faculty member that everyone seemed to love. Dr. Henry Walton Jones Jr. walked into class on the first day and I fell in love with him. Not in a homo way like my dad would probably think. He told us anecdotes that I'm pretty sure he exaggerated. Talks of an Ark, a Thuggee Cult, a Sankara stone, the Gestapo and a grail. Despite his hyperbolic stories, I adored him. I wanted all of his knowledge.

One day Dean Stanforth came in and told us that Dr. Jones wouldn't be returning for awhile because he was called away on business. His leave was unpredicted so Dean Stanforth tried letting the TA run the course. The only sunken continent he could think of was Atlantis and he showed us the same National Geographic special three times because it was the only one available at the library. Dean Stanforth tried teaching the course himself but he considered Oompa Loompas as a lost tribe. When final exam week came around he had forgotten that it was his duty to write up an exam. He asked everybody a true or false question on the Oompa Loompas. I picked true on a guess and was granted an A for the whole semester. I was ready to take on more courses in the field and become just as great as Dr. Jones.