People are their own biggest danger. They go out on an everyday mission to mortally wound themselves and hope to take a few down with them. Thus why talking on a cell phone while driving is so popular these days. Did you know that there's a law in New York City against walking down the street with headphones on? Too many people were bopping down the lanes listening to Miley Cyrus and then getting smashed by newspaper trucks. Most laws are established to keep us from doing stupid shit to ourselves.
Most recently the city of San Francisco is proposing a plan to make the Golden Gate Bridge less suicide acceptable. Too many people are throwing themselves off it after deciding that making human contact is a wash. The plan requires a 40 foot tall barrier that would make it impossible for people to leap off of and would also cost maybe $50 million. That's a huge insurance policy against self-loathing sociopaths.
San Francisco should capitalize our their choice spot for the last straw. Offer these people a nice, relaxing spot to dwell in before they dive into oblivion. They can offer work shops for suicide letters, consult with a lawyer on who to leave their worldly possessions to, even a tailor so you're looking snazzy as you bite the dust. Imagine the restaurant industry. Every chef will up the ante trying to provide that great last meal. San Francisco, I know what you need. Give me a call and instead of throwing $50 million dollars at a barrier, we'll double that in profit and I'll finally afford that mink fur coat.
That's all for today. I would like to thank my good friend Rachel Martin for making blogging stylish and getting me into it. Do yourself a favor and read her blog "On Becoming An Adult" at richweirdos.blogspot.com.
6 comments:
Great title, Paul. Thanks for the plug.
The design is horrible, what is this? A block of empty white space on the left followed by a wall of text with no padding?
You're lucky I'm too lazy to do something about it.
On an individual basis, our saviors are common sense and the government. On the whole, humanity's saviors will always be warfare, famine, and pestilence.
Interesting read. How do you feel about what Dr. Kevorkian has done?
Mmmk. Why do newspaper trucks have to be involved? LOL
Nice post, Paul.
You'll be the pimp of the pre-suicide industry, walking around all snazzy in your fur coat. Make sure it's made out of skin from the most endangered animal on earth, like the snow leopard or something. That way, you can invest in other parts of the death industry.
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