There Goes My Hero

We all know that tomorrow marks the release of the Dark Knight. I'm sure we all can't wait to see our favorite crime fighter dawn the bat wings once again. Unfortunately, Batman is a fictional character. Even if he was real he lives in Gotham City and can't speed around the globe like other heroes can. So ladies, use the buddy system, remain in well lit areas, and no short cuts through alley ways. I would say rely on your local police force but they seem to be more occupied with harassing your next door savior with traffic school. (William Falik has got my back folks. Doesn't qualify as a crime fighter though, considering he's fighting the cops. More of a law fighter.) So where are all the true crime fighters? I know of one. 

If Frank Melton is running for office anywhere in your local or national government then vote for this avenger. Frank Melton is currently the mayor of Jackson, Miss. and he is tough on crime. He cruises around his town in a "mobile command center" with his private bodyguards and plenty of artillery. Only until recently has he gotten in trouble for his "unorthodox" techniques. He only kidnapped some suspected gang members, held them at gun point, and forced them to break into a suspected crack house with a sledgehammer. He then proceeded to destroy the private residence. I know, I love him already. 

Apparently Frank did something wrong because he is now indicted on criminal charges. Something about not having a warrant or authority. No Authority? He's the mayor. If you can't do that then what's the point of being mayor. I remember the mayor of my home town, mayor Mishcon. All you did was attend neighborhood events and fell asleep at board meetings. He even appeared in a documentary for friend's high school video project. This was a guy with too much time on his hands. I'd prefer a mayor like Melton. If he says the crime rate will drop, it will. Not because he's increasing police funding or starting a neighborhood watch. It's because he's grabbing some shot guns and going to blow holes in doors and bodies until everyone cuts this shit out. 

I hope the charges against Melton get dropped because they may hurt his chances of ever becoming president. If he were to say there were nuclear weapons in a foreign country, it would be because he went over there himself with Kimbo Slice and DMX and came back with the weapons to show us. You're my hero, Frank. Keep fighting the fight.